English according to CX650

[CX650]

Originally Posted by Age Rohbein

But world+dog is spelling this wrong somehow.

Even highly educated people.

[xjr]

Originally Posted by CX650

Even highly educated people.

[whoops]

Mally you do sound like a bloody Brummie. You must have the strangest French accent ever!

[Viper]

Shouldn't that be "world+dog are spelling this wrong"?
Neglecting for a minute that use of the "plus" to connect two words without spaces is possibly incorrect as well.

[Pizzaman]

Originally Posted by CX650

They're, there and their.

They're is a contraction of they are.

There means 'in that place' or 'at that point' (during an action). Also used to draw attention, e.g. "There are no apostrophes in plurals".

Their means 'belonging to them'.

They' rseing around

[mallyauto86]

Originally Posted by whoops

Mally you do sound like a bloody Brummie. You must have the strangest French accent ever!

do i heck ...

i have a proper french accent thanks .... not a dodgey cross english one ...

[CX650]

[Viper]

Haha

Also, they could have given him an extra "T".

[Pizzaman]

Originally Posted by Viper

Haha

Also, they could have given him an extra "T".

At the age the people in that comic seem to be,
he probably already has a set of his own... manboob alert!

[ChrisDanger]

If yuo can raed tihs tehn dnot cmolpain to me aobut spleling!

[CX650]

Originally Posted by ChrisDanger

If yuo can raed tihs tehn dnot cmolpain to me aobut spleling!

Re-arrange these words into a well known phrase: off bugger.

[Mati]

You think english is difficult in grammar ? Try to make normal phrase in the most difficult language in the world - polish Good luck Even Poles have problem with it Not all, but still...

[mrpowcz]

Talk about japanese...

[Mati]

Yes, but I guess japanese have only a difficult letters, not grammar, here is much more complicated

[Ecclesley]

Originally Posted by Mati

Yes, but I guess japanese have only a difficult letters, not grammar, here is much more complicated

Japan has 3 different sets of characters. (not letters, there is no alphabet).
Hiragana, Katakana and Kanji.

Hiragana is the simplified phonetic way of writing, in principle you can write every Japanese word in Hiragana but it is difficult to understand the meaning/context of what you are writing.

Katakana is a set of characters meant for non Japanese words/loanwords.
Words like television, camera, computer, milkshake, hamburger etc. are written in Katakana.
Also foreign names are written in Katana.

Next you have a set of about 2500 characters called Kanji, originating from China.
In ancient China there have been something like 20.000+ different Kanji, but most of them are no more in use.
It takes a Japanese about 18 years, starting at primary school, to learn the Kanji. When doing the mandatory exams they need to know at least 1800 of them.
The difference between Kani and Hiragana is that with Kanji you can give a word/name the correct meaning or place it in the right context.
For instance the name of my Japanese wife is written in different Kanji then the same name of
another Japanese woman.
It all depends of what you mean to say with the name or the words.

It all works on the basis of syllables.
Like MI-TSU-BI-SHI that (Japanese) name consists of 4 syllables so you need 4 Hiragana to write it in a phonetic way. But if Mitsubishi has 1 specific meaning you can write it 1 Kanji only.
If you understand Kanji it makes Japanese very simple, but it is bloody difficult to learn, it is a complete different way of thinking, it is like reading small pictures.

[Paul_in_DC]

Think English is tough? Bah! Most of our nouns don't have gender, so we have only one word for "the." Just in European languages, how many ways are required?

[lattergassen]

In danish it's "Den" and "Det" which are no-gender, so it's pretty easy, but in german it's "Die", "Der" und "Das" (Feminum, Maskulinum and Neutrum in correct order. there are also pluralis for sentences like "there are no children here".) Sehr funny language to write in...
In danish we also have our numbers like 42-twoandfourty and 67-sevenandsixty.
And for example 80 is "firsindstyvende" (fourintwenty) and 50 is "Halvtreds" (halfthrees)

[Pizzaman]

Englishis very plain and simple. Somehow I still manage to make a mess of it.
French is also simple. I still make a mess of it.
German is not that simple,but...indeed, you guessed it.

I used to speak Italian and Spanish too, but it got a bit rusty.
Writing is another matter. I manage a bit in English (besides, of course, the usual mess).

Biggest problem is the small differences/similarities.
'Map' in Dutch is 'folder' in English. But 'map' in English is something like 'attach/paste/plant/chart' in Dutch.

Often I understand most of it but then something like this makes a @$%#@$%#@@ of the lot!

[CX650]

Found this on Arsebook.

[TICTOC]

The ''then'' and ''than'' annoys me. I've only seen it in the last few years,
but it is spreading like herpes.
I'll often pull people up saying, ''You don't ask me what I'm going to of for dinner.''
I also like the irony of being called a 'looser'.

[brabham67]

Originally Posted by CX650

Found this on Arsebook.

I've been guilty of violating a few of those rules...

[Scalage]

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/misspelling

[jgf]

"Yeah", like "and all" or "you know" (and its modern version "know what I'm sayin'") are speech habits, and admittedly difficult to break. But there is no excuse for using them in writing.

What has happened to possessive nouns in modern English? "Baby daddy", "friend house", or "brother car" make no sense at all.

"gonna", "wanna", and "prolly" are lazy speech affectations; their use in print is inexcusable.

"get out the car" does NOT mean the same as "get out of the car", and "went out the house" is meaningless.

If I've ruffled anyone's feathers ...I don't apologize. My daily speech is as riddled with slang and verbal shortcuts as anyone else, but I would succumb to an apoplectic seizure were I to attempt writing as I speak.

English is one of the most difficult languages to learn, the many homophones being one reason (I recently had a hilarious conversation with a French friend regarding "burro", "burrow", and "borough"). If we strive for precision in our written communication there is much less chance of confusion for those to whom English is not their native tongue.

(A classic television scene is the "I Love Lucy" episode where Ricky, attempting to read a children's story, becomes irritated with "cough", "rough", through", and "bough".)

[CX650]

Originally Posted by jgf

If we strive for precision in our written communication there is much less chance of confusion for those to whom English is not their native tongue.

*Applause*

Thank you for your support.

p.s. for whom.

[Paul_in_DC]

It drives me batty when I see people spell "a lot" as one word.

[redi]

Originally Posted by Paul_in_DC

It drives me batty when I see people spell "a lot" as one word.

Now you've hurt the feelings of this nice animal...

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/the-alot

[MickeyMouse]

I think it's strange how '-ly' doesn't seem to exist any more. Even newsreaders (people supposedly with communications or journalism degrees) constantly make that mistake. EG: "The event ended bad[ly]." It actually surprises me when I hear someone say it correctly.

[jgf]

Originally Posted by CX650

...

p.s. for whom.

I stand corrected, thank you. For continuity in the thread I leave the original unedited.

[Copyright]

Originally Posted by MickeyMouse

I think it's strange how '-ly' doesn't seem to exist any more. Even newsreaders (people supposedly with communications or journalism degrees) constantly make that mistake. EG: "The event ended bad[ly]." It actually surprises me when I hear someone say it correctly.

Wow

Outside of teenage girls saying 'my bad' I can't say I've heard that, sure I'm an Aussie and we shorten and slur everything but people still use '-ly'. Is it just a regional thing?

[Humpfester]

I have no nagged anyone here , I'm Black Irish and therefore lost a lot of good friend's because of my belief's, but I love you all, period..... Good, Bad, or indifferent, "that's my stand". That's the way "we are in S.E. Tennessee and N. Ga. " and you can Quote me on this.

Thank you, my friends and my enemy's, you complete my life here @ nogrip.
Even after drinking alot of Beer, alot is even one word in Gainesville, Ga. lol.

[Stigasawus]

Can anyone out there translate this grammar stuff into Strine for me grammpa 'cause he doesnt speak Engrish...none of us down here do unless they are recent imports from pommie land. My old man did for some time but he got converted/naturalised/pasteurised/whatever & being born here with cold beer & stuff, I only speak OZ/Strine, ay!

[CX650]

Originally Posted by Stigasawus

I only speak OZ/Strine, ay!

Pass me another tube and bugger off mate.

[Snowcat]

Originally Posted by gears

Translation please

(Haha I love Burns... I think?)

Since everyone was too scared to try. Here's a more "Anglicised" version.

"To a Louse" (IIRC, Burns's thoughts as he saw an insect crawling up the back of a heavily dressed woman in front of him during Sunday service in church.)

Hey! Where are you going, you crawling novelty?
Your impudence protects you surely,
I cannot say but you strut rarely
Over gauze and lace,
Though faith! I fear you dine but sparely
in such a place.

You ugly, creeping, blasted wonder,
Detested, shunned by saint and sinner,
How dare you set your foot upon her --
So fine a lady!
Go somewhere else and seek your dinner
On some poor body.

Fly! in some beggar's head, you nestle:
There you may creep, and sprawl, and scramble
With other kindred, jumping cattle,
In shoals and nations;
Where horn nor bane never dare unsettle
Your thick plantations.

Now hold you there! you're out of sight,
Below the ribbon tails, snug an' tight;
No, have faith yet! you'll not be right,
Till you've got on it ---
The very topmost, towering height
Of miss's bonnet.

My sooth! right bald you set your nose out
As plump and grey as any gooseberry:
Oh, for some rank, mercurial resin,
Or perhaps, red medicine,
I'd give you such a hearty dose of it,
Would dress your buttocks!

I wouldn't have been surprised to spy
You on an old woman's flannel cap:
Or perhaps some little dirty boy,
On his vest;
But Miss's fine bonnet! Oi!
How dare you do it.

Oh Jenny, don't toss your head,
And set your beauty all a mess!
You little know what cursed speed
The ugly creature's making!
The winks and finger-ends, I dread,
Are notice taking!

Oh what some Power be gifted to us,
To see ourselves as others see us!
It would from many a blunder free us,
And foolish notion:
What airs in dress and gait would leave us,
And even devotion!

[aspirin]

Originally Posted by CX650

Found this on Arsebook.

Isn't Irony, what my mother had done with my shirts, to make them look better?

[Viper]

Originally Posted by redi

Now you've hurt the feelings of this nice animal...

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/the-alot

This is my new favourite animal! I absolutely love this alot!

Snowcat: I understand every single word in that poem, but if it wasn't for the explanation preceding it I would be clueless as to what I just read.
I'd probably need to read that twice or thrice (that's a word, right?) to understand what it's really about.

Slightly relevant, a question to the Dutchies here: Is your youth getting sickened by the "g" vs "ch" bug?
I've seen a lot of "kids" write "egt" in stead of "echt" and similar things.
It drives me up the walls.
(For the non-Dutch speaking among you: the "g" and "ch" are identical sounds in alot of words.

Damn I love this animal!

[gears]

You can thank George Bernard Shaw for this:

"ghoti" is pronounced "fish" in English.

gh as in “enough,” you get the f sound.
o as in “women,” you get the i sound.
ti as in “nation,” you get the sh sound.

Therefore, "ghoti" = "fish"

[Paul_in_DC]

[ChrisDanger]

Hey, it's Milkman Dan ------^

[CX650]

More from Arsebook.

[Snowcat]

Grammar. It's the difference between :-

"Helping your Uncle, Jack, off a horse."
OR
"Helping your Uncle jack off a horse..."

[BLeeKii]

Hearing News presenters use statements like 'The first place getter is...'
There's no such word as 'getter' just as I'm sure there's no winningest!

I wish I was better at my spelling & grammar, & I should've paid more attention at school, as it was only a few years after leaving that the system started to change over to phonetic spelling, which leaves me now feeling that in a few more generations, the human race will be back to grunting at each other to communicate.
Venting finished & thank you for the thread CX650, it's taken me long enough to find!

[CX650]

Glad you like it mate. Just remember while it's one of my bugbears it's for fun as well.

[BLeeKii]

Same here on both accounts & it's an even greater bugbear when I notice myself doing it due to my own lack of learning!
At least this thread will make (re)learning grammar a lot more fun than when I was back in school, all 1st, 2nd AND 3rd times!

[redi]

Originally Posted by Viper

Slightly relevant, a question to the Dutchies here: Is your youth getting sickened by the "g" vs "ch" bug?
I've seen a lot of "kids" write "egt" in stead of "echt" and similar things.
It drives me up the walls.
(For the non-Dutch speaking among you: the "g" and "ch" are identical sounds in alot of words.

I really haven't noticed this in the overall picture of people not knowing how to write correct grammar nor spell correctly, and teenagers in general writing phonetically, but I'm sure it happens. It happens so many times I have to re-read (digital) text because someone didn't adhere to those few simple rules and I lost the plot of the sentence, I've been up all walls in the precinct at least five times...

[jgf]

Originally Posted by BLeeKii

...There's no such word as 'getter' ...

Actually there is, though it takes an old engineer to remember it -

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Getter

[redi]

Originally Posted by jgf

Actually there is, though it takes an old engineer to remember it -

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Getter

I used to work with ion getter pumps back at university. Good old days...

[Sarafan]

Originally Posted by Viper

This is my new favourite animal! I absolutely love this alot!

Agreed! Best laugh I had all day

[Paul_in_DC]

[redi]

Might be useful.

[Viper]

The second line is an absolute truth, but not just restricted to the British!